Influence and Relationships

By Ron Wastyn, Ph.D., Chief Operating Officer and Vice President, Senior Leadership Consultant 

In the nonprofit world, the success of the organization relies on influence and relationship. Positive relationships secure funding, attract board members, and create an organizational environment where work – and your mission – thrive.  

But influence and relationships do not just happen. With these influence relationships vital to the lifeblood of the nonprofit mission, we must deliberately seek to create them. Otherwise, your nonprofits will fail to secure the funding you need and the people who make your mission happen. 

So how do we create relationships of influence? 

Ask yourself the question: “Why some people influence you and others fail to do so?” What makes them so special?  

One common answer: we trust them.  

Do you have someone in your life who can ask you to do almost anything, and you will move heaven and earth to say “yes?” Why? You trust them to have your best interest at heart and not to hurt you. As such, when they seek to influence you, they can more easily persuade you to their view.  

As such, trust becomes one of the key components – if not the key component – of any influence relationship. 

We begin building trust the very moment we meet someone. Did we arrive on time for a meeting? Did we arrive prepared? Do we follow through with the things we say we will do? Do we hold confidential information confidential?  

Very succinctly, do we do trustworthy things? 

Communication lies at the heart of trust. Life happens. You get stuck in traffic. You forgot the meeting, or a previous commitment prevented you from preparing as adequately as you should have. When you confess to these slips (assuming you tell the truth), you build trust. In fact, showing your vulnerabilities through these confessions actually builds trust more quickly and deeply because it shows that you trust them enough to share more intimate information. 

Consider the following examples. 

You submit a grant application to a funder, asking them for money to purchase computers to support your mission. You run short on payroll one month and use the money to pay your employees. Will the funder trust you the next time you apply?  

Same scenario, but instead of spending the money on payroll, you call the funder, explain your predicament, and ask them for permission to divert the funds to a more immediate need. They may not allow the change, but at least you have taken a step toward building trust with them – assuming you don’t go ahead and spend it on payroll anyway! 

Trust also happens within your organization. Do your co-workers trust you to complete your tasks? Do your employees trust that you will use your authority appropriately by creating order, protection and direction and that you will do so fairly? If not, you may want to take the time to change your behaviors or communication to better build that trust. 

What do you do in your organization to build trust? What do you do that erodes trust? What changes can/should you make?